"I'll Walk With You"

As your doula, I will walk with you.

There are lyrics to a young children's Primary song that go like this:

"If you don't walk as most people do,

Some people walk away from you,

But I won't! I won't

"I'll walk with you. I'll talk with you.

That's how I'll show my (doula) love for you."

As your doula, the moment you choose me to attend your birth, we make a connection.  By the time you are in labor (or sooner if you have taken my childbirth classes) that connection has been solidified.  

It's an energy field, and I believe it is catalyzed by oxytocin (the love hormone,) and spirit.  In fact I do believe one day they will make the connection between hormones and the spirit world, but that's another post for another day.

Believe it or not, when you nest, I nest.  If I get the call that your birth will be soon, I cook, clean, shop, and make preparations for my family.  

When you don't sleep, I don't sleep.  I may lie in bed but there is little rest to be had.  It's the "My water broke but I'm not having any contractions" text, or "I went to the hospital but I'm only 3 cm.," or, more commonly, when it's a first baby, "I'm having contractions but they're not very strong, or only 10 minutes apart."  It's going to be in the next 72 hours.  I may not be in your presence but my energy field is cast your way and I just *know.*  When that "go time" call or text comes through I am ready, I have been ready, anticipating where you are at every step of the way.

There is an African proverb, "Birth is like a narrow bridge; friends can escort you to the bridge, they can greet you on the other side, but you walk that bridge alone."  What I love about this is it alludes to the way a birthing woman goes inward, particularly during late active labor and transition.  No one can take that journey from you, but I am by your side, ever mindful, ever present.  A birthing woman is very attuned to her surroundings, and highly perceptive of the energy field of others.  My job is to stay with you in this space, regardless of what the nurses are doing, regardless of who may be coming or going, or even what your spouse is doing (when at that inopportune moment he decides to send a text, tell a joke, or leave for a coffee break.)  I am in-tune with your cues.  I am there, and we are connected.  You do not have to open your eyes to see me, to know that I am there.  A midwife holds the same space in a birth room when she sits in the corner and knits.  As your doula, whether I am holding your hand, breathing with you, or on the other side of the wall while you moan and sway in the shower, I am there.  I don't have to put my hands on you to "hold space."  

Our hearts are knit together in unity.

When you've made it to the other side, we can look each other in the eyes and say, "You did it."  You may recognize me from the beginning of the journey, but now I look different, and you look different, because you are a mother, and you are viewing me through a lense of one who has "been there."  You have joined to the side of millions of women who have gone before.  I did it, and you did it, and we did it together.  I am so proud for you I am beaming inside and it is hard to not let it show.  Inevitably Dad is crying, and we all shed tears together.  *You* did it.  Everyone stands back and retracts their energy fields into their own bodies (because you know we were all pushing with you,) so that Mom, Dad, and baby can bond as a new family.  Mothers are, and ever will be, amazing.  I am honored to walk this journey with each and every one of you. <3 

*As a birth doula, I support all births, natural, medicated, cesarean, home, hospital, and birthing center births.  For more information or to schedule a consultation, contact Lisa Hart CD(DONA) 530-919-0034 or www.facebook.com/lisahartbirthdoula.